his versus mine

I've written here before about how relations with my immediate family are estranged, with the exception of my brother, with whom I'm very close.

For the past three years, I've always made sure to send them an email at holidays and birthdays to let them know I'm thinking of them. I've received nothing in reply from my sisters -- total utter silence. My parents respond a day or two after I send them a message; never more than two sentences and always written by my father. My mother is apparently in the same Siberia as my sisters.

As an experiment, this Thanksgiving I did not send an email, with the exception of my brother. I did not hear from any of them -- big surprise.

In contrast, some half dozen of my husband's Australian relatives called to wish me happy Thanksgiving, a holiday they don't even celebrate. One always-cheery one even said "I bet you're missing your family." Well, I am missing my brother, so I didn't lie when I said yes.

What a contrast between the two families. I will contact my family this Christmas and New Year's just to keep the lines of communication open. I've tried to mend fences with my family but that seems unlikely to happen. I often wonder if my father died whether my mother and sisters would ever speak to me again. I suspect not.

Okay, I was a screwup in my middle teen years, but that was ten years ago and now I'm settled and married. It's not like I was ever arrested or became a national scandal. Yet they continue the ice age.

I'm lucky I married into such a warm and loving family. They have become very important to me.