ryan lochte is a national embarrassment

Unless you've been living in a cave in Borneo, you almost certainly have heard something about the scandal involving American Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte and a much disputed incident in a Rio de Janeiro gas station restroom. I've seen the story reported endlessly online in the American media, and it's getting mega-coverage here in Australia as well.

The bottom line is, while the Rio authorities may have been opaque about certain details involving the incident, there's no real dispute that Lochte was very drunk, vandalized the bathroom, and then exaggerated and obfuscated aspects of what happened to the authorities.

Lochte is not fourteen. He's thirty-two. He's a grown man. While he might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, he had to realize he was representing his country and his sport in Rio.

To put it bluntly, he is a jackass, to use my grandfather's favorite description. He has so many advantages and accomplishments, yet he throws them away to act like a spoiled prep school truant.

I read somewhere in media coverage that this mistake will cost him millions in endorsements and may forever tarnish his reputation and accomplishments. Good. It serves him right.

Thanks, Ryan, for helping to perpetuate the sterotype of the ugly American abroad. Your countrymen living overseas really appreciate it.

cheating

In the past few days, I've read and heard several media reports about athletes cheating at the Olympics. I've also read about cheating in a recent photography contest.

I don't personally know anyone ever caught doing this kind of cheating. If I did, I'd want to ask them something like, "what was the point of cheating when you know you didn't win fairly?"

I guess their poor self esteem deludes them into thinking they've somehow won when they haven't. I know I wouldn't want an award if I knew I had not won it honestly.

Of course, sometimes people cheat because personal gain has nothing to do with false results. I'm thinking of teachers and executives who cheat in order to improve their compensation. There, the dishonesty is fueled by greed, not a fragile ego.

Then there's cheating for nationalistic reasons. This would include things like the huge Russian doping scandal. That's just outright stealing to make your country look better.

To take it back to my original point, I guess I'm not a particularly competitive person, so that's why I don't really understand why people would want to cheat about winning. I can't remember that I ever entered any kind of competition, so I imagine that's why awards are of little real interest to me personally.

The bottom line for me: achievements are more important than awards. And achievements are rewards for competition with yourself.

olympic attire

Olympic news coverage is wall-to-wall right now with the games opening this weekend. That had me looking at various fashion pages featuring uniforms worn by various teams.

Many countries' kits -- for instance Canada -- make it clear where the athletes are from by prominently featuring their homeland's name.

Other countries -- like New Zealand -- are so understated and generic that the team members just look like they're random people in a gym.

Now the US uniforms for the opening and closing ceremonies make the athletes look like they hail from a country called Ralph Lauren Land. The big-ass RL logo is prominent on every athlete's chest, but a US flag or other national emblem is nowhere to be seen. To add insult to injury, the wide-striped jerseys under the blazer in the opening ceremony getup look like the Russian flag.

Nothing can beat the Australian opening ceremony uniform, however, which can be seen in the photo below, complete with vibrating stripes. They look like they're from a country called Ice Cream Parlor. They have been soundly mocked in the press here and by some public officials as looking even worse than the 2008 uniforms, which made the Team Australia athletes resemble airline flight attendants (you can see those outfits in the last click-through link).

blue-haired bozo

Three years ago I wrote an entry about Ryan Lochte. That piece in a sentence: if I was a single woman, I'd do him but I wouldn't date him.

Flash forward to today. He's still a good looking man at 32 and is obviously in excellent physical condition. He has a reputation for being very gifted between the sheets. He just has no intellectual depth.

So I guess it's not a surprise that he recently dyed his hair light blue. It's about the same shade as elderly women with a weekly blue rinse to hide the yellow in their white hair.

IMHO, Lochte looks terrible. His hair is now goofy and ages him by twenty years. I can't imagine other women find it attractive.

The lights are on but nobody's home at Ryan's place.

the 2012 New York olympics

Yes, I know the 2012 Olympics were held in London. They were not held in New York. Sports Illustrated has a little piece with pictures of what a 2012 New York Olympics might've looked like.

The beach volleyball arena at the Statue of Liberty is arguably the most eye-catching. If that had happened, I think that would be a bit much. The Statue of Liberty is somewhat sacrosanct.

I think it also underscores how holding Olympics in massively huge cities may not be the best idea. Think how long it would take to get from beach volleyball to another venue way on the other side of the city. I think large but not collosal cities are a better idea where most of the sports can be nearby. When they're patchworked all over a large metropolitan area, that begs the question of why the Olympics are being held there in the first place.

olympic douchebag?

The gossip and lifestyle media is in overdrive about Olympic athlete Ryan Lochte. Jezebel calls him "America’s Sexiest Douchebag".

New York magazine collected his most head-scratching not-so-deep Twitter thoughts. My favorite is: "Too travel is sometimes better to arrive!" Complex magazine compiled fashion tips with "Ryan Lochte’s Guide to Looking Like an Olympic Douchebag."

So is Ryan Lochte a douchebag? Or is he just, you know, dim? The short video below may help make up your mind.

My favorite is is the "seven times four" bit. Oh dear.