bizarre beliefs

The Atlantic has an interesting item up on their webpage about bizarrely wrong beliefs that Americans have. It's funny but it's also a sad commentary on how too many Americans think education is over once you leave school. Many of the people surveyed obviously don't keep up on current affairs.

Some highlights:

* Only 49 percent know how many justices are on the US Supreme Court, and only 46 percent can name one.

* Only 42 can identify the three branches of government.

* Only one in three young adults could find the United Kingdom on a map.

* Only 59 percent can name the vice president.

* And what was most shocking to me: 20 percent think the sun rotates around the earth.

Scary.

embarrassing childhood photos

I spent the summer between first and second grade with my grandparents in Pennsylvania. It was the first time I was separated from my parents and siblings for any extended period of time.

Although my grandfather was a medical doctor, my grandparents lived on a working farm. The actual farming was provided by hired men, although my grandfather did some tasks.

I was seven, away from my shrink parents, spending time on a farm with my indulgent grandparents. I could not have had more fun. I spent several later summers with my Pennsylvania grandparents and treasure all those memories.

My father's younger brother lived in a nearby town with his wife and sons, and they frequently visited the farm on weekends. I grew close to my cousins and still am today, closer than I am to my sisters.

My aunt took many pictures of my cousins and I during those summers, but I never saw most of them because the film was developed after I had returned home. The other day, my cousin sent me scans of several snapshots from my first summer visiting.

In every last one of the photos he sent, I have my legs spread wide apart, ridiculously so, with my pelvis thrust forward, like I was imitating a porn actress. Although I am always dressed, in some I am wearing a dress and you can see my underwear.

Of course my cousin had amusing remarks about the photos. I had forgotten about my childhood habit of posing for photos in bizarre ways, but I assured him I had nothing sexual in mind. I told him to look at some of the other photos and he would see equally strange poses like with the back of my left hand pressed up against the right side of my face or my right elbow touching my left knee.

Why I thought it was clever to pose like this I no longer remember. Maybe there's a performance artist inside me begging to come out.

walmartians

If I'm having a crappy day of pregnancy, I feel pukey and ugly, I surf on over to People of Walmart and feel so much better. There are no Walmarts in Australia. Some might say that's not bad news.

digital big brother

Privacy is a big issue and garners lots of attention, particularly online, yet it's amazing how incautious many people are when it comes to their own privacy.

WeKnowWhatYoureDoing.com aims to change that by demonstrating how easy it is to harvest information from Facebook for people who don't make their pages very secure.

The site trawls Facebook and randomly posts people's public updates in categories like "Who wants to get fired?" and "Who's taking drugs?"

"Still hungover from Sunday night drinking WTF," posts Brendan S. while Anastasia R. lets everyone know "I'm getting so mad right now. I hate my boss Jay. I hope he dies. Better yet I feel like killing him."

The site's creator explains the reason why he's doing this: "the problem is not with Facebook themselves, when used correctly, their privacy controls are very good. The problem is how people simply don't understand the risks of sharing everything."

This all brings to mind Arthur C. Clark's great quote: "Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

frump no more

I wrote here before about how I was planning to buy as few maternity clothes as possible because I just didn't want to invest a lot of money in outfits I would only wear a few months.

I decided recently that part of the reason I'm now feeling so unattractive is because I have nothing attractive to wear. I have a few shapeless cotton maternity shifts I bought at a resale shop and otherwise wear sweatpants with my husband's T-shirts.

So I revised my plan and decided to splurge on one nice maternity outfit. I visited several nearby resale shops and carefully picked through all the maternity clothes. I found a fairly simple but classy black maternity dress that fit. I bought it.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and decided to dress nicely. I wore the black dress with some sheer black stockings and paired it with a red bolero jacket. I did my hair up, spent some time on my makeup, and because I wouldn't be walking too far, put on killer black patent-leather heels.

I felt like a million bucks. I turned male heads on the way to and from the doctor's office and also when I stopped to do some shopping on the way home.

I'm glad I bought that dress. And the great thing about black is, by careful accessorizing, I can make one simple outfit look almost completely different.

haunting yet beautiful

The New York Times has a short photo feature up now that features rare color photographs of World War II-era Japanese-American internment camps. The color really captures the mood of the place, more so than black-and-white photos. The webpage is definitely worth visiting.

sex but not sexy

Pregnancy has not diminished my sex drive, although it has changed our habits somewhat. Wakeup sex is a rarety now because I usually have either morning sickness (still) or at least some quasiness. Bedtime sex has been moved earlier in the evening. As time permits, we still have afternoon romps.

At the same time, pregnancy makes me feel unsexy. I know my husband still desires me and says I'm perfectly sexy to him. I just don't feel desirable. It's difficult for me to feel sexy when I have an upset stomach, flatulence, and constipation. I don't feel desirable when I have an overwhelming craving for cashews and Brussels sprouts.

I used to ride the train and get a little thrill when some cute male checked me out. Now when I'm on the train I worry that it will be late and I'll have to go the bathroom.

I have seen pregnant women who project a vibrant sexiness. They just sort of glow and purr at the same time. Before I got knocked up, I thought I might be one of those women, but it turns out I'm not.

Am I feeling sorry for myself? I don't think so. I don't deny that I like to be desired by men, to be admired longingly. I'm just not feeling like a sexy creature right now.

I think all this is psyching me up to get back into shape with a vengeance once our son is born. I definitely want to be one of those women who people keep saying, "I can't believe you just had a baby X weeks/months ago."

the ref

This looks like WWE in the arctic. Maybe the two male bears are fighting over the lady bear who's refereeing their match.

priceless mugshot

Pictured below is Tracy Mabb, 35, who was arrested after she allegedly ripped off her clothes at a busy intersection in Pompano Beach, Florida, and exposed her breasts, butt, and veejay to passing drivers.

When law enforcement officers arrived and told her to get dressed, she refused and said "I don't give a fuck." Talk about an understatement.

She was charged with exposing her sexual organs and remained in custody, unable to post a $600 bond. She became distraut when her mugshot was taken.

So Tracy has no problem going the full monty in traffic, yet she's upset because she has to have her picture taken, which may not show her at her best.

I've mentioned here before I dated a police officer when I lived in Las Vegas. He told me that people sometimes asked to borrow a comb or a hairbrush before they had their mugshot photo.

That always made me laugh. Do they think it matters? Yes, she has an arrest record, but we decided to give her the job because she was so well groomed in her mugshot.

baby gender news

My ultrasound was yesterday. To cut the chase, we now know the baby's gender. It is a he.

We are both, of course, estatic. When the technician pointed out his quite visible genitals, I started to tear up and saw the husband wasn't dry-eyed, either. I don't think I've ever been emotional upon seeing a male penis before.

I did feel a little guilty later. I so wanted it to be a boy that I was feeling badly for the possible girl it could've been, had the news gone the other way. I see this mental image of a sad-faced little girl who realizes she's been rejected. She turns and walks away, head hung, dragging her teddy bear.

Our naming plan suddenly went out the window after we learned the news. I said to my husband that I thought it might be nice to name the baby after his father. Given his recent health scare and the fact that none of his children or grandchildren bear his name, it would be a nice way to honor him. Yes, James's father has a rather common name -- Joseph -- and a rather common last name. We can give the kid a distinctive middle name.

The husband now likes this idea, too. So that may be the end result. I've known people who changed the baby's name right up to and even after delivery, so that's always a possibility, too.

grandmas discover BDSM

Three elderly sisters react to the erotic BDSM novel 50 Shades of Gray. They are very cute, particularly given they're willing to be good sports on camera. My favorite was the vaginal fisting bit.

epic tattoo fail

I know many governments require a license before someone can tattoo professionally. Demanding that each applicant pass a basic spelling test before licensing would be a good idea. That would prevent disasters like this.

I need to stop worrying

In the past week, I've met two women who are due on almost the exact same day I am. Both are much more visibly pregnant than me.

Depending on what I'm wearing, some people still don't even seem to notice I'm with child. I've not told them I'm pregnant, and they don't even seem to notice. Yes, if I was in a bathing suit, they would, but it's almost winter here, so I'm dressed accordingly.

So maybe I can stop worrying about turning into a leviathan. I'm not fooling myself -- the last month or two won't be a walk in the park. But I can stop scaring myself.

I'm still getting morning sickness a few days a week, however, and I'm in my second trimester. So much for the hope that would stop after the third month. I have met women who were sick nearly their entire pregnancy, so maybe I'll be one of those. I'd rather deal with barfing than blimping, however.

the ultimate player

I think I've seen most if not all the original Star Trek episodes, but I don't recognize which one might be the source of this. I also think the correct term would be something like "passage" not "hall," given spacecraft tend to use similar names as aircraft and ships, but it's still funny.

I like the old Star Trek shows but always find the short pants funny looking. Did these look tremendously hip and futuristic when the show originally ran?

X-rated folk tales

This is a curious twist on the old fairy tale. The version I was told as a child never made much sense to me -- why was the wolf trying to trick Red Riding Hood to her grandmother's cottage to eat her? Why not just eat her where he found her in the forest?

Here, the lacivious wolf makes more sense. He's trying to eat her, but in a very nice way. He'll try to talk her into eating him, too.

baby bump

Growing up, my MD parents discouraged any kind of childish vocabulary. It was not an owie; it was a contusion. It was not my tummy; it was my abdomen. You get the picture.

I've always thought the term "baby bump" was silly. It sounds like something a child would say. But the media uses it a lot lately when covering any woman who's famous and pregnant.

The trouble is, if you don't want to use the term, you don't have a handy alternative. Only pregnant women have baby bumps but everyone has an abdomen and a stomach. Nothing conveys what you mean as concisely as "baby bump."

With that said, now that I have a petite baby bump, the sensation is not what I expected before I got pregnant. I guess I was expecting it to feel more alien and numb, like it wasn't a part of me or what your face feels like after you've been to the dentist. It's not that way at all.

Bieber more contagious than measles

The Atlantic is running an interesting little article with scientific data and mathmatical formulas about how obsessing over Justin Bieber spreads easier than the measles.

Looking at a picture of Justin Bieber makes me feel old because there's nothing about him that attracts my attention. I just don't get why those darn kids go crazy over him. When I was a pre-teen, I never went through a boy band faze, so I can't imagine at twelve I would have felt any differently.

That said, I can understand why some girls go nuts for him. I remember girls like that. They just went insane about some young celebrity or another. What boggles my mind, however, is when adults go crazy for Bieber. That I just cannot get.

guilty conscience

I realized the other night that I probably was a lot more upset about my father-in-law having a stroke than I would be if my own father had one. I haven't seen my dad in years while I see my father-in-law at least once a week, so maybe that's not such an odd reaction.

My husband's father in many ways is the father I always wish I had -- he's incredibly wise and not judgmental. If I'm having a dilemma or something is on my mind, he always helps steer me to seeing the right approach. My own father is a professional therapist yet he never gave me the sort of guidance my father-in-law does.

My husband said he was always that way. When James was a boy and even when he was a young man, his dad never shouted or lost his temper. Rather than a harsh disciplinarian, he was more the wise counselor. James was punished as a boy, but he always had to decide what his punishment would be after talking through where he had gone wrong.

I've thought about writing a letter to my father and sending it to his office so only he would see it. I wouldn't send an email, because then my mother might see it first and delete it. I would spell out my feelings honestly -- we've grown so far apart that I'm much closer to my husband's family. Does my father always think this distance will remain, or is he willing to allow me to be closer to him again?

When my father-in-law is well enough again, I will sit down and have a conversation with him about this. He's always very helpful when we talk about my family.

bizarre crossdressing crime

A 24-year-old Massachusetts woman has been arrested for allegedly posing as a 17-year-old boy in order to seduce a 15-year-old girl she met on the internet. After a year-long romance online, the perpetrator met the girl twice in person, both times chaperoned by her mother, but nonetheless engaged in sexual activity with the child. You can read more about the case here.

The perpetrator sent gifts to her alleged victim, including two cellphones and a Kindle, and also paid her monthly cell bill, all with the mother's knowledge. The victim later used one of the cellphones to send nude photos of herself to the suspect. The child's mother seems to have been duped by the alleged perpetrator and has not been charged.

That notwithstanding, the victim's mom must be incredibly naive. Has she never heard the internet is crawling with people exploiting children? And the expensive gifts were never a warning? Although the perpetrator bought her victim gifts, the child's mother nonetheless paid for the faux boy's motel room when "he" visited, which makes no sense.

Sometimes children's worst enemies are their good-intentioned parents.

sick doggy again

The elderly dog we care for had to have a benign growth removed from inside her abdomen. It was something that couldn't wait, but with husband and I traveling back and forth to see his father, it's keeping us more than busy.

The dog's owner wanted to save her if the surgery wouldn't be too hard on the pooch, and the vet said she's amazingly strong for her age and would probably do okay. So the doctor went ahead and operated. Now pooch is doing well and on the mend.

She's the sweetest, mellowest dog. She appears to be part Sheltie, which would explain her resilience and longevity. I've known people who have had Shelties that lived into their late teens.

She doesn't even act like she's had surgery. When I brought her home, she went back to her bed like she had only been outside for five minutes. No whimpering, no complaining, no problems eating. This is not the first surgery she's had since my husband and I began caring for her, yet she never seems to mind.

(The picture below is not the dog in question -- I just thought it was cute.)

telemarketing scumbags

I still have a pay-as-you-go cellphone from the US here with me in Australia. I had it when I lived in Los Angeles and keep it just in case I need to give someone an American phone number. Because using it internationally eats up minutes pretty fast, I keep it on voicemail and check the messages about once a month.

In the last two or three months, I've noticed a sizeable increase in the number of unsolicited telemarketing calls from businesses I've never heard of, let alone used. My number was long ago registered on the do-not-call list, so it's not like I left myself legally vulnerable.

It really peeves me when telemarketing scumbags so blatantly violate the law like this. When I Skyped recently with my brother in the Midwest, he said he's experienced a noticeable increase in telemarketing calls, even though he's on the do-not-call list, too.

The US can find terrorists in the most remote mountain regions and zap them with drones. Why can't it stop illegal telemarketers? Maybe a drone hit or two on some telemarketing boilerroom would get them to shape up.

the royal fart

My husband's anti-Royalist family was not excited about the recent Jubilee. I found this set amusing -- you may have to click to see it full sized. If Prince Philip didn't fart, than what could be the possible explanation for his progeny's reaction? And check out The Queen's reaction.

goth aria

This is not something you see every day. His look completely mismatches his talent. I am a bit skeptical about the claim he's never sung in front of anyone before, because while somewhat nervous, he does not seem particularly shy or introverted. That, however, does not diminish his gift.

You can skip to around 2:00 to see the start of the performance if you want.

flashing vagina?

A high school in North Carolina has been in the news lately after a graduating student allegedly flashed her veejay in a yearbook picture. The yearbooks were recently released, students were amused, parents were horrified, the school and law enforcement promised a swift investigation. You can read more about the incident here.

The school district has released an explanation that, while it may look like exposed genitals in the picture, they claim the student in question simply was pressing her thighs together and it only resembles a veejay.

The trouble with an explanation like that is that the news media will not publish an uncensored photo of the alleged crotch flasher. A good thing about the Internet is how you can often find what you want anyway.

I found the picture in question, which appears below. The thigh press explanation seems dubious. But it also doesn't exactly look like a veejay, either. The supposed crotch portion of the photo is actually in sharper focus than the girl in question. The position also seems wrong - it looks too close to her knees.

I'm left wondering if this was a Photoshop job by a yearbook staff member who didn't like the girl in question. That seems to be a more plausible explanation, at least to me.

father-in-law doing well

I'm happy to report that my father-in-law is doing well. He's speaking a bit but only in one-word sentences. He does not appear to have any paralysis. He's very tired so he's just resting quietly most of the time.

When we went to visit him in hospital, he beamed when we came up to his bed. He reached out, put his hand on my tiny baby bump, and smiled. My eyes just filled with tears when he did that. I'm usually not the sentimental sort, but either pregnancy or stress or both made something of a mess out of me. I'm just so glad he seems to be doing okay.

sad news

My father-in-law had a pretty serious stroke yesterday. He's very fit and active for his age, so everyone in the family was quite shocked. He really has no risk factors like high blood pressure or a history of smoking, so there was no reason to expect this would happen.

Fortunately, my sister-and-law happened to be visiting him when he took ill. She's a nurse and recognized immediately what was wrong, so he was rushed to hospital without delay. He's alert and seems to understand what's being said to him, but he's not speaking, thus it's really too early right not to tell exactly what's what.

He is the kindest, sweetest man. I couldn't ask for a better father-in-law. My husband is being stoic, as ever, but I can tell he's hurting. His dad means so much to him.

terrifying picture

I saw this photo online and it freaked me out a bit. I'm guessing she's about eight months pregnant.

The idea that I'll also be massively swollen like this in four months or so does not make me feel all warm and glowing. It looks like torture. I have a friend here who recently had a baby and she was extremely uncomfortable her last two months. We were almost identical in size and figure pre-pregnancy so I can't stop thinking I'll have similar torments toward the end.

I also wonder if I can ever bounce back to the shape I once was pre-pregnancy. I had a 20-inch waist not too long ago. I live in fear that I will have permanent stretch marks.

I think some of my freaking is due to my mindset. When I was dancing for a living, every tiny little flaw could work against me. So just the idea of ballooning with pregnancy is running counter to the thin demon who still whispers in my ear: fat bitch, fat bitch, fat bitch.

My modeling agent is excited because he plans to get me bookings when I'm massively swollen. That idea is not appealing to me right now. I originally was drawn to modeling when I was a girl because I thought it confirmed I was beautiful and desirable. The idea of a pregnancy model makes me feel bovine or something.

And then when I really get going, to make sure I've sufficiently freaked myself out again thinking about this, my subconscious adds one last twist: What if it's twins? Or triplets?

I know I sound like I'm whining but I'm not really a whiner in person. I just confide things here at time I don't say out loud.

school for scandal

One wonders what kind of school these are for and what they may teach. If they're hiring instructors, I might be eligible for a job after the baby's here.

date of conception

I imagine for the last one hundred centuries or more, expectant women have been exchanging pregnancy chatter with other presently and formerly pregnant women. I am no exception. I've lost count how many women with whom I've compared notes during the last several months.

On several occasions, different women have told me they know the exact date their baby was conceived. I usually nod thoughtfully when they say this but offer nothing in reply.

The thought that runs through my head is this: you must screw way less than we do. James and I have utterly no clue when the magic seed was planted. We can count back approximately to the date, and I know the days I would've been the most fertile, but that still leaves a period of time where we bonked far more than once.

Now there can be some obvious exceptions to this: a couple normally uses condoms, but one night they skip the rubbers, and nine months later they have a new tax exemption. None of the women I spoke to, however, mentioned this.

greed is not necessarily good

The uglier side of human nature, discovered on Venice Beach. I think the best part was how everyone virtually ignored the bossy chick with the walkie-talkie. I'm not sure if she was a lifeguard or some kind of city worker.