the junior soprano defense

I have been reading about the forthcoming criminal trial in New York for the alleged druglord Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, set to begin in September. If you can't quite place the name, El Chapo is the billionaire cartel king who escaped several times from Mexican prisons before he was finally apprehended and, shortly thereafter, extradited to the United States.

As the linked article discusses, El Chapo's wife and lawyer are claiming that his situation has caused depression, which as resulted in a deteriorating mental state, to the point that it resembles dementia and thus he cannot follow nor assist with his defense. While a court and its participants are required to presume innocence, we in the general public are not bound to that. To me, the evidence is overwhelming that El Chapo is guilty. It's also curious how his wife can speak with authority about this, given she hasn't actually seen him since his extradition two years ago.

One has to wonder if this was an idea harvested from watching The Sopranos, where Junior Soprano pretends to have dementia until he is declared unfit to stand trial. But what works on a television program rarely succeeds in real life, where highly trained psychiatrists have considerable experience exposing sham claims.

In the real world, according to recent Department of Justice statistics, about one in a thousand criminal defendants attempts a competency defense. Of those cases, about one in a thousand succeed. So El Chapo is facing long odds.

Of course, this might be the only strategy defense attorneys concluded has any kind of fighting chance. Their client allegedly killed or ordered killed as many as 3,000 people. And after his federal trial in New York, he's facing serious criminal charges in six other American jurisdictions.

I have a sense El Chapo's long sordid tale will end with a fizzle. He'll be easily convicted with overwhelming evidence, be sentenced to life in a supermax without the possibility of parole, and that will be pretty much the end of him.

the blitz

I was reading a recent back issue of the BBC History Magazine and found this article to be quite interesting about the emotional effects of the wartime Blitz in Britain. I've written before about how the elderly woman who owns our house experienced the Blitz through most of the war as did another elderly man we knew before he died.

I've been reading off and on about the Blitz over the last several years. I don't know why I find this subject to be so interesting. I don't know if I'm romanticizing it, but I see it as one of those historical events that I think I can imagine experiencing but then realize I probably am not able to do that.

The only real world comparison I can think of is the days and weeks immediately after 9/11 when Americans wondered if the country would experience more massive terrorist attacks. Yet still, even 9/11 was experienced by most of us on a television screen, not in person.

When I was in elementary school and visiting my grandparents' farm, I remember being in some elderly man's barn with my grandfather. We could hear a lightning storm approach with the thunder getting closer.

The old man had been a soldier in World War II and, as the thunder grew louder, he said quietly something like, "that's almost what it sounded like when the Germans were approaching." I was probably only eight or nine at the time, but I remember a chill went down my spine because I just had the briefest real-world sense of what it must've been like to have experienced the real thing.

This is a cool news item that uses photographs of Blitz damage morphed with modern photos of the same location. I used one of their photos below.

the phantom thread

I had saved some DVDs from the box of Oscar screeners that my Hollywood friend had sent to me, knowing that my husband probably wouldn't want to watch those particular movies. One of them is Phantom Thread which I watched last night while the husband is out of town for a few days on a diving gig.

Set in the 1950s world of London's highest fashion world, the movie tells of a strange triangle involving a famous but fickle fashion designer, his model who becomes his muse, and the designer's controlling, restrained manager.

The movie is odd and memorable and beautiful and slow and haunting and rather profoundly weird. Daniel Day-Lewis plays the designer and does a great job but not his career highlight. Lesley Manville is very good playing his manager. The best work is done by Vicky Krieps as the model/muse. She was not nominated for an Oscar, which is a shame, because her performance is stronger than the other two leads, both of whom did receive Academy Award nominations.

The writer/director is Paul Thomas Anderson, who also did Magnolia, Boogie Nights, There Will Be Blood, and the fantastic Hard Eight. If you've liked any of his previous films, you might like Phantom Thread, but be forewarned the movie is not for everyone.

bill cosby found guilty

Bill Cosby was found guilty yesterday on three sexual assault charges. He now faces the possibility of up to thirty years in prison, but legal experts have been quoted by the media as saying they expect around ten years.

Still, given Cosby is eighty, he may well spend the rest of his life behind bars.

The guilty verdict underscored a stunning fall from grace for a man who was once a beloved and world-famous celebrity.

In total, sixty-two women have come forward so far to accuse Cosby of sexual assault and inappropriate behavior in incidents dating back to the 1960s. Many of the women simply were not believed at the time. Some settled with Cosby out of court when they did bring action.

None of us will ever know all the truths about Cosby, but with so many accusers, the phrase "where there's smoke there's fire" comes to mind.

Cosby reportedly spent millions in legal fees on his defense, given his first criminal trial ended with a hung jury and he hired an all-new team for his second trial.

Nonetheless, this verdict demonstrates that money can't buy you everything. In the end, he had admitted too much -- to sexual contact but claiming it was consensual, to admitting he drugged the women with their consent but only to help relax them -- to be believed innocent.

A moment after the verdict showed the world what might be Cosby's true face. Known for the wholesome characters he played as well as chastising other celebrities for off-color language, Cosby twice and loudly called the prosecutor "asshole" in court.

The real Bill Cosby was finally unmasked.

clock impaired

I found this article pretty shocking: many British students in high school cannot tell time on an analog clock (one with hands). My son Joey is four and he has no problem with traditional clocks, and even Tombo at a little past two is doing fairly well, although he mixes up things when the hour hand is close to the minute hand.

This failing in Britain, I would argue, is both in schooling and at home. What parent would not teach his or her child how to tell time before even enrolling in school? And why don't schools teach something so basic in early elementary school, considering analog clocks are still so widespread?

Is this the result of helicopter parents coddling their children too much so they don't have to learn "hard" things? But if you teach them early enough, it can be a fun game for them.

What strikes me as particularly mind-boggling about this UK trend is the fact that one of their national symbols is an analog clock!

a more subtle bush

In late 2014, I wrote an entry about a woman with really noticeable pubic hair that was almost jet black. Looking at those pictures again, I suspect both the hair on her head and in her bush is dyed.

Another woman with mostly untrimmed pubes appears below today, but her bush is somehow more subtle. I think it's the somewhat lighter color and lower density. The woman also appears more girlish and innocent, at least in my eyes, so maybe that's part of the reason, too. You can see more stills of her in this free online set.

Still, if I was her, particularly if I was single, I would want that thatch significantly trimmed. If it was me, I'd go for a landing strip wax or a full bikini wax, leaving a little bit of hair but removing everything else.

I know some men are really into women with a full bush, but I have the sense that many more would be turned off by it. If I was not married and still looking for random encounters and friends with benefits, I'd err on the side of caution and keep it very trimmed.

a fugitive in the family

A twelve-year-old boy from Sydney pilfered his mother's credit card, traveled alone by air to Bali, and stayed for four nights by himself in a tourist resort. He did this after his mother said she wouldn't take him on the trip, he connived his passport out of his grandmother, and researched online which would be the most accommodating airline.

While as a twelve-year-old, I would have thought this was the best thing ever, as a mother my response is more muted.

The parent has a real discipline problem here. A child who is told "no" for a very good reason should realize never to overrule that decision. While the kid showed real intelligence planning ahead and pulling off this trip, it also suggests this will not be the last time he'd weave a complex scheme.

My biggest fear as a parent would be, if my kid does this at twelve, what will he try at fifteen or seventeen?

When I tell my children "no," I then ask him (or them) why he/they think I said that. My husband does the same. More often than not, they come up with the right answer, particularly my older son. If not, I explain why and then we discuss it. Almost without exception, they will come to understand and accept why.this.

If you just tell your kid "no" without an explanation why, he or she will be left to come up with his or her own answer, and that be one that's both wrong and not something you'd want your child to think.

Parenting is not easy. Sometimes I think it's the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. One lesson I have learned is this: you have to be willing to devote the necessary time and attention to parenting. If you're a parent, it's the most important job you'll have in your life.

mohammad bin salman

Recently, I've listened to a few podcasts and read several long articles about Mohammad bin Salman, the Saudi crown prince and de facto leader, given his father the king suffers from worsening Alzheimer's disease.

Salman is certainly charming and much more visible than past Saudi regents, but at the same time, he could potentially be dangerous in the future, both for his own country and internationally. He has made some positive reforms in his own country but, at the same time, he has cracked down on human rights activists and dissidents, involved his country further in a proxy war with Iran in Yemen, and meddled in the domestic affairs of regional neighbors like Lebanon and Qatar.

He may end up being a net positive but, equally, he could end up being a net negative. He could drive the Middle East into greater regional conflict, particularly between Sunni-majority and Shia-majority nations. A Saudi versus Iran war could even erupt as a result.

IMHO, he is the personification of everything that is wrong about a monarchy. He has nearly absolute authority. If people in his own country don't like what he's doing, they have to lump it, unless they're willing to overthrow the government, no small task. Protests are met with arrest and prosecution as is any kind of organized political dissent.

Revolution is not entirely improbable. The young Salman in a few decades could morph into a Reza Pahlavi, the last Iranian Shah, whose corrupt, autocratic regime was toppled by the autocratic, theocratic government that exists today in Iran. Pahlavi made a lot of social reforms and modernization, just like Salman is starting to do, while cracking down hard on all dissent.

I have a sense we'll be seeing a lot more headlines about Saudi Arabia in the near future and some of them may be very bad. Hopefully I'm wrong.

books without chapters

I have a pet peeve about novels that I've had for a long time and it's this: books with no chapters. The entire novel is one single chapter because the text is not broken out and numbered.

Sure, there are paragraph breaks every so often, but novels with numbered chapters have those, too in between chapter breaks. Without numbered chapters -- or at least unnumbered chapters -- you can't tell when you've reached the end of something potentially more important.

There's also a basic reader convenience to clearly defined chapters. Many people, myself include, use chapter breaks as reading breaks. When there are no numbered chapter breaks, you're uncertain if you've reached a good place to stop for a while.

This whole discussion is much more than just a format pet peeve, however. When writers use defined chapters, they tend to craft a stronger structure with a clear narrative flow and, often, end with a twist or surprise.

Books without clear chapters, as a general rule, tend more to be episodic and meandering and can divert way off on tangents. The result often has more amorphous and unfocused writing.

So authors, chapter your books. I know I'm not alone in this opinion, given comment threads I've seen on GoodReads. Your readers will thank you by reading more of your work.

boris & natasha

I borrowed a DVD set last week of The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends from the library for the boys, who have been thoroughly enjoying it. I don't think I had watched the program since I was a child so I was pleasantly surprised at the writing's wit and cleverness.

While the cartoons obviously were targeted at a young audience, the creators included plenty of subtle humor for the adults who might also be watching. All the cartoons were made in the late 1950s and early 1960s at the height of the Cold War, and as a result they're not without some subtle pro-western propaganda.

When I was a kid, my favorite characters were Boris and particularly Natasha. I think it was the voices, because I didn't like the way the squirrel sounded and the moose talked like a moron.

I went dressed as Natasha when I was in the first or second grade for the school Halloween costume contest. I didn't win anything because no one could figure out who I was. It's a humiliation that still haunts me to this day.

a horrible dilemma

I have been reading again about Germany's four-year occupation of France during World War II and the role played by the French Resistance. Not surprisingly, the Gestapo was responsible for some of the worst horror stories in France's history.

One tactic they used repeatedly was to arrest French liberation members, Jews, communists, and other "undesirables" and also to take their innocent families into custody. Then one or several adult members of the family were given ultimatums: you will be released to act as our spy to uncover more of your kind.

The innocent family members, of course, were not released and held as hostages. An end date was dangled in front of these unwilling spies -- do this until X date and then you and your family will be released. If you fail, you and your entire family will be shipped to a concentration camp.

Of course, those who did this and managed to make it to their X date would often find one of two things happening: the date would be arbitrarily extended or the agreement would just be torn up and the forced spy and his or her family would be sent to a concentration camp anyway.

The Gestapo didn't just use this tactic in France. It happened in other occupied countries and within Germany itself.

Not surprisingly, I thought about what I'd do if I was living in an occupied country and swept up by the Gestapo to be a forced spy. If it meant sparing my family, I don't think I could turn it down.

At the same time, I think I would be so nervous as a spy that I'd end up inadvertently giving myself away. I don't think I could look other people in the eye while knowing I was working toward their and their family's destruction.

I guess I would at least try, given the alternative was so horrible. And even the idea of working as a double agent would be so fraught with risk, yet that could be a possible alternative.

I talked to my husband about this and he had the same thinking that I did. Our children would be of paramount importance, no matter what.

Hopefully there is a special section of Hell reserved exclusively for the Gestapo. That or they're all reincarnated as pinworms for the rest of eternity.

The period photo below shows French resistance fighters sometime in 1944 (enlargement).

novel recommendation

I just finished reading Joe Ide's debut crime thriller novel, called simply IQ, and was pretty blown away. It's a fantastic book.

Published in October 2016, the novel is the first in a series of planned books, all featuring IQ, with a second one called Righteous, which features the same central characters and was published last fall. A third novel will be broadcast this fall.

The dialog is fantastic. The characters smart and compelling. The antagonist is frighteningly evil and not easily forgotten.

When I did some quick research online, I was surprised to learn that the writer is in his early seventies. He writes about men in their late teens, and so I automatically assumed he was not much older. That assumption was not correct.

So if you're in the mood for some excellent writing in a compelling story, check out IQ for some original, fresh, compelling storytelling.

creepy elephants

This tattoo is technically and artistically well done. It obviously was inspired by Salvador Dali's famous painting called "The Elephants."

But the original artwork is creepy and the tattoo doubly so. This is what any man doggying her will see. Is that erotic? Or a wood killer?

I've never understood the thinking behind getting a tattoo on your back. It's something you'd only see in a mirror and not well at that.

My husband got a back tattoo when he was in his early twenties. Now he regrets it deeply, notwithstanding it has faded considerably. When I've asked him why he originally wanted it, he shrugs, rolls his eyes, and says "I have no idea." He was pretty drunk when the deed was done.

In twenty years, Ms. Back Elephants will find her tattoo has faded considerably, particularly if she spends lots of time at the beach. When she's fifty or so, this may have faded enough to look like some nasty varicose veins. Now that's an attractive thought.

historic hospital horrors

Last night I read a fascinating article about horrendously unsanitary conditions inside nineteenth century hospitals. It's no wonder most patients died while still being "treated" or shortly after discharge.

I can understand how people of earlier centuries did not understand infectious agents. But that's no excuse for keeping a hospital like a pigsty. I think the most charming detail is a description of how patient bedsheets were infested with maggots and mushrooms yet nobody was really bothered by it.

Joseph Lister changed all this. He truly was one of the most important people in history. If it wasn't for him, someone almost certainly would have filled his role but at a somewhat later time; however, his pioneering vision should never be overlooked or minimized.

self-immolation protest

Over the weekend, a prominent New York attorney killed himself by self-immolation in a public park to protest fossil fuels. If you don't know what that means, rather than reach for a dictionary, the answer is he set himself on fire.

At the risk of sounding like I'm trying to cheapen someone's death, I have to say this was a failed gesture IMHO, and I'm not trying to be funny. I believe statement suicides are an exercise in futility.

The reason is simple: the manner of his death is what will grab people's attention and stay with them. They'll forget the cause behind the action. It will simply be "remember that guy who set himself on fire in Prospect Park."subject of his protest will be entirely forgotten.

You can see this even now in the coverage. The headlines are not about the cause. They're all about the means. If it bleeds it ledes, and here the self-immolation is the most spectacular lede.

Burning to death is an absolutely horrible way to die. I read an article not too long ago that provided explicit and graphic details about what the individual experiences from the moment of ignition to death might be.

I have to wonder, and again I'm not trying to be sarcastic, if the victims' last thoughts are extreme regret. Of course, the same could be true for any violent form of suicide.

the crown jewels

This tattoo is obviously supposed to be a heart with a crown. But given the artist made the heart look organic and not a more stylized heart-shaped object, it actually looks like a gigantic set of testicles. The dark shading doesn't help, because at first glance, that looks like pubic hair, and thus the hands are holding up the nuts to show the scrotum underside.

And, of course, given this is in the middle of someone's shoulders, it's hard to miss and will be there the rest of his life. While some people will see a crown, others will see what I see. At the beach, he may hear behind his back "hey, dude, whose balls are those up on your shoulders?"

1099 madness

Federal tax returns for Americans must be filed by Monday unless you file for an automatic extension or you're out of the country like I am. Needless to say, I won't be filing for months.

Here's what I find curious: all 1099s are supposed to be sent by January 31 to taxpayers. That information needs to be filed by February 28 with the Internal Revenue Service.

Yet every year, without fail, I receive revised 1099s well into April and beyond from my brokerage. I received an email yesterday that my brokerage had to, once again, revise the 1099.

I am not an exotic investor by any stretch of imagination. I buy and sell a few big-board stocks every year but mostly just hold the same big-board stocks and receive run-of-the-mill dividends.

Yet some of those companies paying dividends constantly reclassify them for months after the 1099 is supposed to be filed. They do either or both (1) reclassify some or all of the dividends as a return on capital, meaning it's not taxable, and/or (2) they reclassify some or all of the dividends as a capital gains, meaning other tax forms must be filed by me.

I have no idea why they do this. I assume it has something to do with juggling their books to lower their income. Whatever the answer, you'd think they wouldn't do it months after the calendar year was over.

One way to make sure 1099s are filed and sent on time would be to have the IRS charge them a penalty for late filing with taxpayers and the IRS. If you have a rule, you need some teeth in it.

This is why I will wait until late in the year to calculate my taxes. I have made more than enough in 2017 estimated payments, so I'll just wait to see how many more revised 1099s come floating over the transom.

space alien moral quandary

I was explaining to Joey about colony insects yesterday -- how the queen gets the best food and all other females are her slaves while the males never eat, have a very short life, mate once, and then die.

Later in the shower, that started me thinking. Imagine humankind is contacted in the near future by an advanced alien race that offers to share extraordinary technology with earth that offers us tremendous benefits by eliminating things like starvation and disease.

But in the process of our contact with this advanced alien race, we learn their race is something like a social insect species. A tiny percentage of royals control everything and all the wealth, while the vast majority of their race are royal slaves who spend their entire lives working in wretched misery.

What should humankind do? Refuse the technological offer of help unless the other society eliminates slavery and vastly reforms their society? Or simply keep our mouths shut, accept the gifts, and pretend not to know about the slaves toiling in misery?

I'd argue that there's no easy solution to this dilemma.

the joy of cheese

As a child, I never liked what Americans call Swiss cheese, but as an adult, I love it. When I moved to Australia, however, I learned few retailers sell a product called Swiss cheese that is actually like what's sold in America.

Here, "Swiss cheese" often means any cheese imported from Switzerland and is not limited to the variety with holes and the slightly tart, tangy flavor. By trial and error, I found that the closest cheese to "American" Swiss is called "Emmental," although the taste and texture are not exactly the same and the price is steep.

Through trial and error, I've found that Maasdam cheese is almost the same as American Swiss and the price is better, too, but the texture is somewhat different, not to mention it actually comes from the Netherlands. Jarlsberg is sometimes an acceptable substitute, too.

It's funny how we hold taste "memories" for so long. While I could never really describe the taste of many foods I enjoyed in the United States, I can tell when their Australian counterpart is close but not the same. It's been nearly a decade since I left America, but my tastebuds are still stuck in America.

the decline of hand fans

I rode the train yesterday with the children, and it was hot as blazes because the air conditioning wasn't working correctly. I kept myself and the kids cooler by fanning a magazine vigorously and was struck with the thought: why don't women carry folding hand fans any longer?

I'm sure some women still have them, but they're certainly not commonly seen. On the rarest occasion I've seen elderly Asian women using them to keep cool.

Of course, if you carry a folding hand fan, you have to know how to open them correctly with a snap and a crack. If you've ever seen the great movie Topsy-Turvy, a clip of which is seen here, you know they make a great deal about the correct way to open your fan.

I want a Mikado fan, too -- a sturdy one that will last, not some paper and cardboard junk. Time to prowl the thrift shops again.

rag manbands

The British musician Harry Styles is seen here wearing a loose rag-type hairband. This is a common style for women, notwithstanding the fashion media can't figure out what to call the accessory. This item was first popularized by women in the 1940s.

But men are now occasionally seen wearing them, a trend that began several years ago. It's typically achieved by tying up the hair partly with a long scarf like a hairband, and then wrapping it around a second time but looser. You can also buy hairbands sewn to look like this if you can't figure out how to do it on your own.

IMHO, I've never seen a man wear this look successfully. It's the opposite of masculine. If I remember correctly, one of the main characters in the original French La Cage aux Folles sports this look several times. I also seem to remember that the trans character in The Crying Game wears one of these in several scenes and also the same for Kiss of the Spider Woman.

What's wrong with a plain bandanna if you're sweating like a stuck pig while working outside on a hot day? Or this a concerted effort by some wholesalers to convince fashion slaves to buy something they don't need?

was royalty ever the best choice?

My husband was teasing me the other night. He said something like, "I think my wife is a secret royalist. I always see her reading about kings and queens."

I read a lot of history, and a lot of pre-modern history involves royals. I'm currently reading a book about Elizabeth I, who lived in an age where some form of royalty controlled nearly every government in the old world.

I don't think royalty is a good way to run a modern government today. But I also agree that, in previous centuries, royalty may have been the most effective and efficient form of government.

Organized religion was extremely powerful in Europe before the Reformation -- specifically the Vatican. The Vatican would never be organized as a democracy, so if a European country had a democracy, with time it would be subordinated to the Pope.

Monarchs could be a strong check on the Pope, but not all of them were. Those royals who put nation before papacy arguably succeeded better and had, on the whole, more peaceful, prosperous realms.

Without a monarch, a country could end up a mess, as happened during the Oliver Cromwell era when the monarchy was abolished in Great Britain for more than a decade. At the same time, with a weak monarch, a government and country could be a mess, just as it could be under a democracy with a weak, ineffective leader.

The advantage with a democracy is that the people can, with time, fire weak leaders and select replacements. That is not possible with a royal system, particularly one that assigns all control to one family and its potentially disastrous progeny in perpetuity.

Any government where ultimate power does not rest in the people is inferior to a democracy with free, fair elections.

true hero

The husband and I happened to be talking the other night about how the word "hero" seems to be overused, particularly in the American media, but elsewhere, too. We segued into talking about Jeremiah Denton, the American POW who spelled out "torture" with his blinking eyes while interviewed on television during the Vietnam War.

Jeremiah Denton was a true hero. He endured horrendous treatment and repeated torture for almost eight years as a POW, yet he resisted defiantly and was an inspiration for other POWs.

His military training undoubtedly enabled him to handle what he faced, but I suspect his individual character was the real reason. He simply refused to be broken and ultimately prevailed.

I think many of us wish we had the strength to endure such a thing, but I also think many of us realize we never could. Resisting is so much more difficult than surrendering when confronted by great adversity.

this looks really scary

The new movie A Quiet Place looks really good and really scary. Blind but deadly alien creatures hunt by sound -- if they can hear you, you're soon dead.

The movie has earned great reviews and no pans from reliable critics. It sounds like a horror film that relies on suspense and craft and not cheap gore to scare people. The anticipation is what makes it scary.

The husband and I have not had a movie night in a long time, so this will be on the short list of films we want to see in the theater. It also is certainly not a sort of movie to see with small children. We may have to end up seeing it when it comes out on DVD later this year.

Enjoying a scary movie on DVD while clutched to the husband isn't necessarily a bad thing so I'm not complaining. We also both like the fifteen-second instant rewind feature on our DVD player to catch little bits we missed or particularly liked, and that feature unfortunately is not available in theaters.

self-deluding fatalism

I happened to read this article from 2016 when a link was posted on a women's online forum. The title says it all: "Our Planet Is So Fucked That Some Women Are Choosing to Not Have Kids."

IMHO, some of the people in this piece are facing what sometimes pejoratively are referred to as "first-world problems." You think your life is so much more fucked up than people who lived through the Great Depression, the Black Death, or World War II and nonetheless continued to have babies, albeit at a sometwhat reduced rate?

I can think of few circumstances where people find themselves that might warrant self-extinction, at least on a shorter term basis: you were living in war-torn Syria; you were living in the Warsaw Ghetto in 1943; you were living in the shadow of Chernobyl in 1986 (and, good lord, I spelled Chernobyl correctly when I just looked it up, yet I cannot spell simple words).

I think there's another significant situation in which people find themselves that warrants self-extinction but they don't consider it: poverty. If you can barely afford to feed yourself and your existing family, adding a newborn child to that equation is moronic.

You should only have children when you have the potential to be an excellent parent and also provide for their upbringing. If you don't have the necessary sustaining income, then don't have that child.

panty line problem

I wrote about visible panty lines four years ago on this blog, and I see you models haven't been paying attention. The woman appearing with this entry (enlargement) did not follow my advice.

You can clearly see the line from both her garment's waistline and also from her underwear. You can also see the elastic line from the bottom of her panties -- so she has three visible horizontal lines across her groin area. Unsightly.

Models, on the day of your shoot, wear a full, loose shift with no waistline and nothing underneath. Best to skip the bra, too, if you can -- the model below appears to have followed at least that part of my advice.

And for crying out loud, if your cookie will be showing, groom accordingly the day of or night before your shoot. The unknown model looks like she groomed a week ago but hasn't bothered since.

I have a feeling models like the one in this shoot are Eastern European and only paid like $100 American for a half-day shoot. They may think that's a lot of money, but to even an entry-level model in the US, that's pitifully low.

This photoshoot won't hurt her career, but it certainly won't help it, either.

are unibrows sexy?

This short video features a model who doesn't hide her unibrow but, instead, tries to feature it. I'm guessing she lightens her hair, which makes her monobrow stand out more.

As you can see from the video, she also enhances it with some kind of cosmetic and also rubs it against the grain so her eyebrow looks larger and rougher.

IMHO, it's one thing to remain all-natural. I've seen models who don't shave their legs or armpits because they want to remain in their original state. But if you're deliberately exaggerating a natural feature, as Ms. Unibrow appears to do, then you're really doing what you're accusing others of condoning, except in the opposite direction.

I have seen monobrow models in Vogue and other top fashion magazines. While they don't hide their single eyebrow, they don't exaggerate it, either. They just leave it alone.

I don't have a unibrow, so I don't have this dilemma. At the same time, like many women, I thin my eyebrows and trim or pluck any hairs that grow too long.

After all, I don't want to end up looking like this guy's sister.

cricket scandal

Australia has been caught up in a cricket cheating scandal for the last few weeks that seems to keep growing every day. My husband and his family do not follow cricket, so I know only basics about the sport, but it is hugely important to millions of Australians.

The scandal started when one Australian player was spotted sandpapering the ball during an important international match with South Africa. That was done to make the ball spin unevenly and thus be more difficult to hit. The Australian team captain and vice-captain were also involved in the scandal.

Given how cricket is "the" national sport and considered the epitome of gentlemanly sportsmanship, the whole thing erupted into a public shitstorm. Three players were suspended -- two for a year and the other for a little less -- and the head coach stepped down.

Some people think the suspensions were too light. Others are outraged they were suspended at all because that's expected to hurt the team's competitive chances.

IMHO, you cheat, you deserve what's coming to you. Star cricket players are considered national heroes and role models for children. So when you're exposed as a cheat, you have to pay the price, and if your team suffers as a result, so be it.

I don't understand a cheater's mindset. If you don't compete entirely honestly, how can you feel pride in winning fraudulently? I wrote an entry on this two years ago.

In a way, nonetheless, I think this scandal has taught young Australian fans several important lessons. One is to be wary of who you worship -- supposed heroes can have feet of clay. It also teaches that cheating can come at a very high price when you're caught.

An honest loser is a better person than a winning cheater.

almost entire fake

No, I have not taken up a graffiti habit. In case you didn't notice, yesterday was April Fools' Day, hence my phony post.

The entry was almost entirely fake. I will admit that, not too long ago, on the rarest of occasion, if I was in a public loo with a great deal of graffiti and I spotted something witty, I might pen a reply. When I did, I wrote something with only an ordinary gel pen, not a Sharpie or spray paint.

Nonetheless, I haven't done this in at least five years. The last time I did it was a year or two before I was pregnant the first time.

I have found the level of bathroom graffiti to be considerably lower here than in America, notwithstanding we have a lot more unisex public bathrooms. Maybe that's because Australians seem to be less sexually repressed than Americans; hence, they have less of a need to relieve stress with a pen on a wall.

new hobby

About six weeks ago, I was sitting in a public restroom and, for whatever reason, on the spur of the moment, I decided to doodle some graffiti on the wall while voiding my bowels. I had a new Sharpie in my purse, so I went to town with some bawdy language and an obscene doodle.

A few days later, I was walking with my children into a public parking structure and, heading up the stairs to the second level, I saw a wide expanse of empty wall and couldn't help myself. I stopped, opened my purse, retrieved the Sharpie, and scrawled some graffiti on the bare concrete -- this was a pretty salty message about Mark Zuckerberg.

With that, I was hooked. I had a new hobby -- graffiti artist.

A few days later, I went into a variety store and bought an assortment of larger, heavy markers in a variety of colors and a few cans of spray paint. If I was going to mark up walls, I told myself, I was going to do it right.

Since then, I've taken to spending several hours each day riding around our part of Sydney and looking for out-of-the-way and secluded spots where I find empty walls and get to work. I bring the boys along and the keep a lookout for me.

We were almost caught by a cop a few days ago, but I managed to keep from getting into trouble by convincing him I was actually sneaking a pee because I had a urinary infection. I'd already prepared Joey to lie for me if I was caught, and he came through and lied like a pro.

Below you can see one of my recent works (enlargement). I was particularly proud of this one. Ten minutes with a fine-nozzle spray can and I was done.