what's your news IQ?

I took this short online news knowledge test and had a perfect score. I was surprised to see that only 10 percent of respondents did not make any mistakes.

What really surprised me was the percentage that were wrong on some of the questions that I thought were very easy. I was also annoyed to see that men did better on every question, notwithstanding some were about women in the news.

Try your hand, too. There are only twelve questions and it's super fast.

interstellar

The Husband and I finally had a chance to watch the Interstellar DVD. In a nutshell, we liked it but didn't love it. Nonetheless, the movie certainly had some memorable scenes I'll probably remember years from now.

On the whole, I felt the movie was just trying to do too much and tell too many stories. Some elements were vague because they were rushed, while other bits just went on too long and seemed derivative of 101 other outer space movies we've seen before.

The story had more holes than a warehouse full of Swiss Cheese. A wormhole is a big story element, but at times it's also referred to as a black hole, which is not the same.

One large plot hole involves video transmissions through the wormhole. Even I know sending a video by radio through a wormhole would be impossible, yet it's a critical story foundation and results in one of the most emotionally moving scenes.

These video transmissions can somehow magically reach the main actors in one space ship but never bother to make their way to three other groups of astronauts who passed through the same wormhole/black hole years ago.

At an important moment in the story, a major character must eject into space from a spacecraft that's falling apart. Needless to say, he's millions of miles from anything. Somehow, magically, he's rescued by unseen, unidentified characters and wakes up, poof, in a hospital bed.

At another moment in the story, one astronaut character is revealed to have a lover on a planet on the other side of the wormhole/black hole. She ultimately reaches that planet, but we never see the reunion.

I think the most maddening element for me was at several key emotional moments, the scene cuts to another scene millions of miles away and a character suddenly has a wistful smile and looks at the sky, as if somehow knowing everything is all right with the other character. That's just sappy, lazy Hollywood cornball stuff.

Definitely see the movie sometime if you haven't already. It's well worth a watch but also maddeningly inconsistent and downright confusing (and inaudible) at times, too.

naked politicians

Japanese Politician Teruki Goto has caused a scandal by appearing naked in a new campaign poster. Although Japan has strict censorship laws, the poster won't result in any action because of a loophole in the law.

You can see a photo of the poster in question below. The candidate is rather androgynous and the pose looks quite strange. He's wielding a sword but it looks more like he's swinging from a rope and hanging on for dear life. He's naked but a slogan of some sort hides his naughty bits.

I'm not in favor of this naked politician business. I can't think of any high profile American politician who I'd want to see naked. Some of them would be an eyesore sans clothes.

Correction: nearly all of them would be an eyesore in the nude.

black mass

Take a look at the photo below. Do you know who that is? The picture is of an actor portraying notorious criminal overlord and murderer Whitey Bulger in a forthcoming film called Black Mass.

Give up? I would never have recognized him. It's Johnny Depp. You can see him in the official studio trailer now online.

After seeing this, I just cannot wait to see this movie. And I'm not a huge Depp fan. The movie opens in the US and Europe in September, but it has no release date yet in Australia. None.

Hello? Remember us, Warner Bros? Down under here with the cute koalas and kangaroos? We need to see this movie, too.

proper victorian gentlemen

To look at this picture, you would think they were nineteenth century dockworkers after a bar brawl when they were hauled down to the police station for booking.

Actually, they're Princeton students from 1893 after a brutal rock-filled snowball fight involving hundreds of students. So much for the Ivy League being a place full of bookish effetes.

When I think of 1893 Princeton, I picture an Edith Wharton or Henry James scene with tea and young men in boaters and spats. But that scenario is not too accurate, it seems.

I imagine many of those snowball-hurling thugs ended up in positions of power in New York and Washington. That gives an interesting perspective on American history.

terrorist schadenfreude

French police arrested a suspected terrorist this week after he shot himself in the leg and called an ambulance for help. At the scene, police traced blood trail back to his car, where they found forensic evidence linking him to a recent murder and also detailed plans to attack several churches.

Schadenfreude is one of those words I learned from a book and is perfect to describe this situation. If you're not familiar with it, schadenfreude means to delight in the misery of others.

This is one instance where we can delight in the misery of a moronic terrorist and feel good about it. If only more terrorists followed his example, they would make the world a better place.

creeping senility

I've written here before about the elderly lady for whom we act as permanent housesitters. She is in a elder care facility and will never return home.

I visit her weekly, usually with my son and often my husband, too. Her children haven't visited her nor spoken to her in years, which is so sad because she misses them and is the sweetest old lady.

About eighteen months ago I noticed her memory was starting to go. It was subtle at first but then became increasingly obvious.

In the last six months or so, the decline has accelerated. Her doctors say they believe it's senile dementia and not Alzheimer's, due to her age (she'll be 94 in a few weeks).

When I went to see her yesterday, she recognized me at once but seemed to have forgotten my name in the beginning. She then looked down and saw my son and it was clear she had completely forgotten who he was.

I've been taking him regularly to see her ever since he was two weeks old, but her memory had just evaporated. She acted like he was a cute little boy who I had just found in the street somewhere whom she had never seen before.

She's not suffering and seems as happy as ever, so I have no reason to complain. But it's sad to see her slip away like this. Her memory of her earlier years still seems quite strong, but that is usually the case with senile dementia.

I imagine a day will come not too far down the road when I will show up for a weekly visit and she'll have no idea who I am. I'm sure she'll be sweet and kind like she always is but just think I'm some confused stranger who wandered in by accident.

I guess there are a lot worse ways to go into the final stretch of life's often difficult race.

famous jerk

Today's episode of Celebrities Acting Like Fools features Hollywood star and auteur Ben Affleck, who recently was exposed for trying to pressure PBS into covering up the fact that one of his ancestors owned slaves.

Affleck was interviewed at length after he agreed to appear on PBS's geneology show Finding Your Roots where well-known media personalities are given a filmed narrative about their family's past. When that search turned up the slaveowner link, however, Affleck tried to have the information suppressed out of fear he would be "embarrassed."

When news of the cover-up went public, Affleck issued a public statement of apology, which was mostly a mea culpa but still attempted to justify what he had done.

The bottom line is Affleck embarrassed himself much more with his failed whitewash than if he had done nothing. Why should he feel embarrassed for the behavior of someone who died long before he was born?

I always thought he was one of the more grounded Hollywood celebrities, but I obviously thought wrong. Apparently his ego is such a delicate hot-house flower that even the hint of something unsavory about him causes him to go into a major swoon.

I have a 19th century ancestor who was a notorious segregationist and member of Congress. He proudly ran for office tooting his racist bona fides. If I am ever so famous that someone wants to feature my family history, I hope they include the loathsome slug. One of his notoriously racist campaign posters is featured below.

Ben Affleck, time to pull up your big boy pants and grow a pair.

christmas in april

If I held this until December to post, I would forget and never end up using it, so that's why it's here now. This looks like a film poster for a reality TV show or a forthcoming Wes Anderson movie, but it's an actual holiday card (enlargement).

I love dogs but owning 46 is not my idea of fun or smart. They all look like yappy ankle biters. I guess they're breeders or handlers or circus people or something. Or perhaps just insane.

I can't tell if some of these critters are Photoshopped into the shot, but most seem actually to be in that picture. Even if they only own half these dogs, this would still be ridiculous number. My thinking is that they own all 46 but getting them to sit still at once was not possible.

My grandfather used to tell me about strange neighbors they had for a while who bred and showed some kind of little white dogs that all looked the same. They had several dozen of them. They were not popular people in the neighborhood and the house stunk. No surprise.

Dog nuts are a special kind of nut.

sleeping with pinkman

My husband and I watched the end of Breaking Bad last night. While we didn't dislike them, both of us felt somewhat disappointed in the final three episodes.

During its whole run, I think the show worked best when it was more grounded in reality. It was not as strong when story elements were just too fantastical, and therein lies the problem with the final part of the last season, in my opinion.

I really started disliking Walt quite a lot as the show ended. He was turning into a monster and his true motivations were revealed. I hated how he treated his family, who were supposed to be his motivation all along.

There were times during certain episodes when I didn't like Walter's wife, but I felt very sorry for her and her children at the end. In the Season Six that will never be, their lives would not have gone well.

I think Jesse was the heart and soul of the show. He initially was a somewhat annoying wastrel, but he redeems himself by the end. I'm left wondering if Breaking creator Vince Gilligan will ever resurrect Jesse at some point in a movie or new program.

When I was in my mid-teens, around the time my parents threw me out of the house, I passed time and slept with a few varieties of Jesse Pinkman. None of them were meth cookers, but they were semi-wastrel druggies with dead-end jobs who dealt on the side.

Now, older and wiser, I'm amazed I was ever attracted to them, considering I never used drugs. I guess I liked the danger of being with bad boys who were more than happy to fuck whenever I wanted. On occasion, I wonder whatever became of them.

religious quandary

Here's a problem I have with both the Christian and Jewish religions. Several times in the Old Testament, the text tells of men who angered God with their wrongdoing. Their punishments were heinous, and their sons or children were also cursed, too. (I believe Gideon and Ahab are two such examples but don't hold me up as an authority.)

I can understand punishing the evildoer. You reap what you sow and all that. But is it fair or good or just to punish their children, who very well may be innocent and unknowing about what their father did?

Men like Josef Mengele and Reinhard Heydrich and Pol Pot were horrible, evil people. But why punish their children unless they, too, committed some horrible sins in collusion with the parent?

I have to conclude from this: (1) the Bible is not entirely correct or (2) God is not a nice guy. I'd like to think (1) is the answer, since I don't believe the Bible is infallible anyway.

The Bible has been edited numerous times by mere mortals, with parts taken out and others added in, then translated a few times over for good measure. Anyone can say they're writing down the word of God, but how do you know when someone speaks the truth or someone is self-serving or deranged?

To say that God summarily punishes innocent people out of spite because of their parentage paints God in a very bad light, more like a petty tyrant. I think that's why we need to consider these wrathful vengence tales on an entire family to be suspect of editorial embellishment.

making brown eyes blue

A Los Angeles company has developed a non-invasive treatment to change brown eyes to blue permanently. A laser device is used to break down pigment on the iris's outer layers to reveal the blue level underneath.

This is possible because all of us actually are blue eyed no matter our race, but anyone who is brown eyed has an extra layer of pigment on the surface. It has not yet been approved by the FDA and similar agencies.

I would love bright blue eyes, given mine look like dirty water. But I have absolutely zero interest in having lasers beamed into my eyes to change the color. I wouldn't even bother with contact lenses, either.

My personal belief is that elective surgery is surgery you don't need, no matter what it is. That's why I never had a boob job. Save the medical procedures for when they're needed.

The only exception to this would be plastic surgery after accidents and breast reconstruction after a mastectomy. You're having surgery anyway, so why not restore what's been lost at the same time.

After reading about this eye procedure, I seemed to remember a song about changing brown eyes to blue and found it on YouTube. I wonder how long it took for Crystal Gayle to grow her hair that long.

the $400 million dollar woman

The big news in the fashion world this week was the retirement of Gisele Bündchen, the highest paid runway model in history. She will still continue to do print work on occasion. She is 34 and has worked for twenty years.

In the course of her career, she has earned close to an estimated $400 million. In her last year of working, she earned almost $50 million alone.

As a model, my lifetime earnings don't even total a tenth of one percent of what she's made. I may not even have earned a hundredth of one percent of her earnings.

This leaves me to wonder if any model is worth that kind of money. She must've earned several million for each show she did. Did the show producers get their money's worth?

I imagine some of it was the prestige. She was a "loss leader," so to speak. It's the collection that ultimately sells the house, not the models. But a big name will draw the best press coverage and the most buzz.

If you stopped a hundred women in the street, how many would be able to identify her by name and/or by her face? I'd bet it wouldn't be too many. (For those who don't know her, she's pictured below.)

I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that top models, actors, entertainers, and athletes are paid too much money. Fashion, Hollywood, and sports all were very successful industries before people started paying the talent ridiculous money.

With middle-class incomes stagnating in the last few decades, something seems to be out of whack when so many people are barely making ends meet while a few people earn more than they could ever possibly spend in one lifetime.

accidentally discovery

Quite by accident yesterday I discovered The Internet Archive, a massive repository of media that is either in the public domain or released to the public without charge. You can view and listen on the web or download your own permanent copies.

The site includes nearly 4,000 movies, television programs in the hundreds of thousands of hours, more than two million recordings, millions of books, and more and more and more.

Guaranteed you'll find a good bit of dross, but some real gems, too, particularly films that are hard to find on DVD. I've already bookmarked several classics like Suddenly, A Stranger in Town, and some film noir I've heard about and always wanted to see.

The quality is intended for computer screen or mp3 player but not high-end equipment. Nonetheless, the website is a great resource you may want to explore.

heresy hypocrisy

I was reading about William Tyndale yesterday, who was executed for heresy in 1536. His "crime" was translating the Bible into English using the original Greek and Hebrew texts.

His life and death perfectly illustrate the hypocrisy and ludicrousness of organized religion. In his day, the "approved" Bible was in Latin, which of course was a translation itself. No one could translate it into another language without church permission and license.

Eventually, the Bible was translated with approval into a number of European languages, except for English. When Tyndale applied for permission to translate into English, he was denied for vague reasons. So he went ahead and did it anyway.

As a result, he had to flee Britain for the continent before he finished. He nonetheless continued his translation. The Tyndale Bible was printed in Germany and smuggled into England, where it was outlawed and burned if discovered.

Although abroad, he was eventually betrayed to church authorities, who captured him, put him on trial, and then executed by strangulation. His body was burned after he was dead, common treatment of a heretic so he or she could not rise from the dead at the second coming.

You would think that by translating the Bible and making it readable by all literate people that he would be applauded. But the hypocritical church would have none of that.

free-range parenting

I have been reading in the news about the brouhaha that erupted in the US after police twice picked up a ten-year-old boy and his six-year-old sister in a Maryland suburb after they were seen playing alone in a park about a mile from home with their parents' permission.

This has ignited a firestorm of debate about whether the parents are being negligent or whether authorities were improperly interfering in parental decisions. It's a battle of sorts between "free-range parenting," with children given independence, and "helicopter parenting," where a child's every move is watched and supervised by over-protective parents.

The situation was exacerbated because the police and others did not inform the parents for a number of hours that the children had been picked up and where they were.

I'm of two minds about this. I do think the authorities erred by not contacting the parents immediately as soon as the children were put in a police car. The parents had consciously decided to allow their children some independence, so it wasn't like they were passed out drunk on the floor. How difficult would it have been to just drive the kids home?

Conversely, I think allowing a mile from home for a six-year-old, even in a super safe neighborhood, is incautious. Yes, she was with her ten-year-old brother, but if something goes wrong like an unexpected fall or a loose dog, I don't think he is mature enough to handle all emergencies.

I also believe the parents' intent must be considered. Mom and Dad here made a conscious decision to give the children some independence as a reward for good behavior. The children didn't wander from the house because adults simply didn't know or care where they were.

The issues aside, I think the parents in this specific case could have used some simple common sense to make it clear the kids were out with their permission. How difficult would it have been to write a quick note saying the two had permission to walk to the park and back at a certain time and to call if they were any questions?

The would have avoided a lot of headache here, particularly after the first time it became an issue.

evenings with the sociopath

My husband and I are nearly at the end of watching the entire Breaking Bad series. We have five more episodes to go in the last half of the last season.

I have been sorely tempted several times to pop the DVD in the player during the day and cheat watch an episode before he comes home. But then I stop myself because we're having such a good time watching it together at night.

We both love the show, of course, or otherwise we would not have watched all of it like this. It is truly addictive, and these last episodes are so intense that they literally keep you on the edge of your seat. I'm glad we watched it all within a fairly short period of time, rather than viewing it year after year on the tube.

The quality of the acting really captivated me throughout the series. It is so consistently excellent, some of the best I've ever seen. I can see why it won so many awards.

I'm torn over whether Walter White is a sociopath. I know sociopath is not a term shrinks much favor, but it has become so common in popular vernacular that it can't be ignored.

Jesse clearly isn't a sociopath, and Todd clearly is, but Walter is a puzzle. Sometimes when I think I have him all figured out, he does something that surprises me. He seems like a sociopath at times, but other times not.

He's a masterful liar and dissembler, traits common among sociopaths. Earlier in the show, he does seem to show remorse and guilt at very difficult moments, but with time, he seems to have no conscience by the final season.

He almost seems to grow into a sociopath, which is part of the reason why the show is so fascinating. Tony Soprano was a monster from the very start of the show, already having killed men and grown up in a life of crime. But Walter starts out an ordinary, law-abiding father and husband, but by the end of the show, he's a ruthless narco crimelord.

My biggest fear after we're done watching this show is that most TV will seem pale in comparison for a while. We're planning on marathon viewings of The Americans and the American version of House of Cards, both of which have been recommended by Breaking fans, so hopefully that will give us a necessary fix.

assassination anniversary

Abraham Lincoln was shot 150 years ago tomorrow, on April 14, 1865. He died the following morning.

Chances are if he was wounded in the exact same way today, he would have survived, although his quality of life may not have been good. His resulting disabilities may have caused a succession crisis. (Note that the linked article has the wrong assassination date.)

Lincoln was one of four American Presidents who died because of assassination. He shares that distinction with James Garfield, William McKinley, and John Kennedy.

I think Lincoln and Kennedy's assassinations had pretty significant impacts on US history. Because Lincoln died just as the Civil War ended, the aftermath under his successor Andrew Johnson was a lot different than it would have been had he lived.

Andrew Johnson may have sown the seeds of racial friction that still impact the US today. A century later, had Kennedy lived, arguably the US would not have been drawn into Vietnam to the degree that occurred under Kennedy's successor, Lyndon Johnson. American society felt the aftershocks of the Vietnam Era for many years.

I suspect the impact of McKinley's assassination was not as significant. His death catapulted Teddy Roosevelt into the Oval Office, a President who had a significant impact on America. But Roosevelt probably would have been McKinley's successor anyway if he had lived to the end of his term. So the Teddy Roosevelt effect would have occurred, just a few years later.

Garfield was only in office for 200 days when he died as the result of an assassin's bullet, and his successor Chester Arthur held office for only the remainder of the term. Of the four assassinated Presidents, the historical impact of Garfield's death was arguably the least significant.

My late grandfather told me that his grandfather had witnessed Lincoln's funeral train as a small boy when it passed through Pennsylvania in 1865 on its way to Illinois. He was born in 1859 and lived until my grandfather was ten.

He told my grandfather that he was very disappointed with the funeral train. As a little boy, he loved to watch the trains speed through their dinky little station in Pennsylvania where they never stopped. However, the Lincoln train went extremely slow with everyone weeping as it passed. He couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.

Of all the notables from history, I would put Lincoln in my top ten list of the people I would most want to meet. I've read several biographies about him; he was a distinct genius with a wicked sense of humor like no other. America is a great nation today, thanks in part to Lincoln's presidency.

goin' down

My husband and I recently watched the Breaking Bad episode where this music was used to accompany a snappy montage of meth production. Even though he's in his forties, James had never heard it before. He liked it but thought a woman was singing.

The Monkees were long, long before my time but I know the song well. It was part of a mix that I used regularly in my dancing days in Vegas and Los Angeles. My signature was nude go-go done to modern mixes of sixties and seventies hits.

I've always thought The Monkeys were a curiousity. They weren't a real group but were thrown together for a TV show, then they morphed into a real group. Sadly, they wrote a lot of songs and made tons of recordings yet saw very little in the way of payment because they had signed away all their rights in the beginning.

So every time you hear a Monkees song now, they're not getting a dime in payment. The same is true for the Breaking Bad use and the Season Five album.

the color of no color

In both film and television, I have noticed an increasing use of seriously undersaturated footage lately. Rather than a natural, realistic color, the filmmakers dial back the saturation so much that the result is murky with sparse, grim hints of color.

I saw a preview for a film recently that I thought was in black and white at first because the color was so significantly desaturated. I also saw one that was set in Southeast Asia on sunny days, yet the color was dialed down so much it looked more like New Mexico on an overcast winter morning.

This syndrome seems to have affected both British and American filmmakers as well as some on the continent, too. And it's certainly not limited to film. I've noticed the same thing in British, American, and Australian TV.

We have a new show here in Australia called Banished about the earliest settlers. Australia has a sunny, hot climate, but to look at Banished, you'd think you were in Michigan on a bleak November day just before the snow started.

When nearly everybody's doing it, it's no longer cutting edge. It's just annoying.

I will now do a little demonstration of this trend. See what I mean?

proust and the squid

I saw a book at the library that caught my attention because of the title -- Proust and the Squid by Maryanne Wolf. The dustjacket copy sounded intriguing; it begins: "Reading is a miracle, because the brain was never wired for written language."

But this is what I found most interesting: "Just as writing reduced our need for memory, technology is reducing the need for written language."

I don't know exactly what that means. Does that mean hand printing will become obsolete? Or does that mean we'll no longer need to read? That technology will become so advanced that data will stream directly in and out of our brains?

I don't care how advanced technology becomes, I don't want to give up reading. I love to read. I think it's one of the great pleasures of life, after sex and parenting. Curling up with a good book is a sheer joy, an escape on a magic carpet to a parallel world, a trip inside another person's fascinating brain.

That's why I still prefer printed paper books over digital e-books. There's nothing quite like the tactile pleasure of a printed book.

I'll have to read Squid and see what I think.

free or dangerous speech?

I have been reading about Musa Cerantonio, who is very controversial here in Australia. For those not in the know, he's Australian by birth and was raised a Catholic by parents of Italian and Irish heritage. As an adult, he changed his name, joined a radical fringe group of Islam, and has since become one of ISIS's most vocal and admiring supporters in the English-speaking media. He calls himself "a jihadist."

He has not joined ISIS in the battlefield and says he does not assist people in doing so. However, during his regular public and Internet sermons, he speaks lovingly about ISIS and openly and repeatedly encourages people to support ISIS and join their cause. He also traveled abroad last year to join ISIS, according to his Twitter claims, but was detained and returned to Australia.

My understanding of Australian law on this point is that it's similar to American law: because he's not directly helping people join ISIS, what he does is considered protected free speech. Nevertheless, he's about as unliked here by most Australians as the KKK and Westboro Baptist Church are in most parts of the United States.

In all honesty, I have mixed feelings about this. I am very much in favor of free speech. But when does speech become threatening and therefore no longer warrant protection? Yelling "fire" in a crowded theater certainly isn't protected and thus does not qualify as "free speech." When you encourage people to join a terrorist group, without actually helping them to do so, aren't you still encouraging them to commit violence?

Australian law prohibits anyone from "recruiting for a listed terrorist organization," which includes ISIS. Does recruiting for terrorists mean you literally have to set up a table and sign people up, or is encouraging someone to go, without directly helping, also a form of recruitment?

I think the reason why this sticks in my throat is that he's free to preach against a democracy within that democracy and is therefore protected, yet if he lived under the jurisdiction of ISIS, which he loves and admires, he would be silenced for speaking out against them. They have no free speech.

He condemns democracy yet enjoys its protection while advocating a system and society that would stomp him like a bug if he spoke out against them within their borders.

There's something deeply hypocritical about that.

world's cutest police woman?

This is a true story: two Dutch police women found a mobile phone in a public place. They had no way of identifying the owner.

So they took their own photo and posted it on the owner's Facebook page, for which they found a link on the phone. They also added the message that the owner could pick it up at the station, with his photo being easily confirmed by the webpage.

(The original news story is in Dutch, but if your browser has a translator, you will get some idea of what happened.)

Both police women are cute, particularly the one on the right (enlargement). It's hard to imagine them arresting some big burly criminal and then wrestling him to the ground to put him in handcuffs.

Given that I'm American, this may sound terrible, but why are police women in other countries so much prettier than the ones in the United States? I don't recall ever seeing an American police woman who I would call stunning.

rape myopia

You may have been following the controversy over the now-retracted Rolling Stone magazine article about a purported gang rape on the University of Virginia campus last year. It's still a matter of opinion whether the rape actually happened, but the article itself was faulted because it relied on unverified statements.

Even if we assume for the sake of argument that the Virginia matter was a fabrication, rape is still a real problem with real victims, both female and male. Unfortunately, based on some commentary I've read since the Virginia revelations, some people have illogically concluded that this one article somehow proves that most rape allegations are dubious.

Most rapes go unreported, which makes statistical tabulation very difficult. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control data reveals more than a million rapes happen every year. In Australia, which has a much smaller population, official statistics report at least 50,000 rapes occur per year.

I know several rape victims in the US and one here in Australia. It is a dehumanizing and life-changing event and, for many, something from which they can never fully recover.

One flawed article should not overshadow attention on the real and serious problem of rape. Otherwise, it will perpetuate the falsehood that most rape allegations are fictions and that rapists are the "real victims."

does ugly sell?

This Prada ad has appeared recently in top fashion and lifestyle magazines like Vogue and Vanity Fair. I've come to the conclusion that the photographer and stylist wanted to make her look as unattractive as possible.

The model is Gemma Ward, but you wouldn't know that to look at the ad. She usually has a sort of innocent waif thing going for her. Here she appears rather psychotic and somehow extra-terrestrial.

This pose makes her seem like she has a spinal deformity. Not to mention the makeup is bizarre, and the dress is downright hideous. To add insult to injury, the lighting makes her resemble a store mannequin and not actually human.

If you know anything about Prada, you know their handbags are very expensive. The one she's holding here sells for $2,625 US.

If you planned on spending that much money on a purse, would you be more or less attracted to a product because of this ad? Hey, I'd like to look like a ugly psycho, too. Get me that bag, pronto. Perhaps women who spend ridiculous money on a handbag have different tastes than I do.

I don't think I've ever paid more than $50 for a leather purse. And some of my favorites I got for free on modeling gigs.

BDSM & submissive women

Alternet has an intriguing and thoughtful new article up about how women who are into BDSM as submissives are often not meek and mousy. It's also interesting to note that the piece was written by a man.

My husband and I are into occasional BDSM, and I'm what is often called a "switch," as is he. Sometimes I like to be the dominant and other times submissive. And sometimes I like to go from one to the other before things are all done for the night.

And I certainly would not be called mousy or meek. I see myself as like a kitty cat. I can purr and nuzzle up against you and love you to pieces, but if you rub me the wrong way, you will be very sorry. I have claws, baby.

BDSM that's not excessive can be a whole lot of fun, particularly when you're with a man you love. That's because you trust him 100 percent, so when you're submitting, you know he won't hurt you.

That's what makes it so exciting, I think: because you know he's very strong physically, but also that his tenderness and compassion is so much stronger.

rooms of illusions

Peter Kogler is an Austrian artist known throughout the world for his illusive rooms painted with elaborate murals on every available surface. I saw one of his spaces about ten years ago when I was in Europe; it was much more intense than photographs can capture.

Be sure to check out his webpage. He has lots more interesting rooms shown there.

I wonder if in the near future we'll have rooms with entire walls made up of high-definition plasma screens. That way you could have new designs every day. I think that would be incredible; you'd never tire of your surroundings.

Sometimes I just can't wait for the future to get here. That's why I want to be one of those people who lives to 150.

porn for girls

In my humble opinion, this picture set is one of the best porn features I've seen targeted to women. The man is clearly there for her pleasure, so it's much more about her needs than his.

She's snagged herself a sexy submissive stud. She handcuffs him and then rides his face in a variety of positions. To reward him for a job well done, she gives him a blowjob, all the while he's still handcuffed.

I'm wondering if he got pretty turned on by this because there are few blowjob shots before he erupted. That suggests he couldn't hold back for very long.

The guy and girl shown here only ever make porn together, except for lesbian scenes she does. They're supposed to be a real couple. There was a time when I would have loved to do this with my husband in public shoots, but now that we're parents, I'm not so inclined any longer.

I love to play this game with my husband. Trouble is, he's so strong he can often break free of his bindings before we're done playing. Then I become his prisoner for merciless cunnilingus.

deportation "order" cancelled

Some people realized that my post yesterday was an April Fool's Day gag, at least based on the comments and emails I received. Some, however, did not. A few kindly sent private messages offering help, support, advice, etc.

Now I feel a little bad for having fooled some people. Didn't you check your calendar?

Rest assured, I'm not being deported. I highly doubt the Australian government has ever looked at my blog and wouldn't care about what they saw if they did. The same goes for the royal family. They have enough trouble keeping Andrew in line to spend time worrying about me.

The Atlantic has a new article, posted yesterday, with the thesis "the internet ruined April Fool's Day." The piece makes some interesting points, particularly about the event's history and some notable pranks, but I don't agree with the overall premise.

I'd argue that April Fool's Day is made to order for the internet. Online you can be a lot more creative with a fool's prank without the possible harm or potential for injury or hurt feelings.

terrible troubles

I received a formal legal notice by Registered Post from the Department of Immigration and Border Protection notifying me that my permanent residency visa was being revoked by the Australian government and that I had seven days to put my affairs in order and leave the country.

After a number of calls, I learned I'm being deported because of something I wrote on this blog. I've been on the phone for hours to DIBP, trying to discover what has them so upset, but they refuse to tell me. The senior section manager I spoke with the final time said something along the lines of, "if you have to ask, you're only making the matter worse."

Of course my husband and I are completely broadsided by this. I always thought that as long as I was married to a natural-born Australian citizen and was not arrested, I could stay here indefinitely as long as I renewed my annual declaration of official permanent residence, which I've faithfully done every year long before the deadline.

The current plan is for my son and I to fly to Guam on Saturday for an indefinite stay to see I can try to work things out through the Australian consulate there. We'll also be meeting with a lawyer here in Sydney tomorrow who hopefully can work things out before I have to leave. If not, my husband will stay on top of things here.

I've scanned through all the entries I've written here over the last six years, and the only thing I can think of that may have upset the Australian government is a few mildly snarky comments I made about the royal family. But it's certainly tame in comparison to many things I've seen in the Australian media. I guess because I'm not a citizen I'm being targeted.

So for now, I'm just sort of floating in a cerebral limbo. I've never faced anything like this before. My poor James is just beside himself.