Merrill Markoe is smarter than Einstein

Are you a Merrill Markoe fan, too? I think she's both hysterically funny and brilliant. She's included in a recent Vanity Fair article about David Letterman's zipper and extortion troubles.

She writes about when she discovered Letterman was stepping out on his wife: "As you can imagine this is a very emotional moment for me because Dave promised me many times that I was the only woman he would ever cheat on."

On the fact that she was involved with Letterman at the same time he was sleeping with his future wife Regina, "We were together for 10 years, though I know that it’s a vague definition of the word ‘together,’ since he was apparently with Regina for the last two of those years, and to my knowledge none of us were involved in a polygamous cult."

When asked how Letterman kept his affair with Regina secret, she said: "Dave has several homes. He has a television show in production and many meetings to attend, some of which require travel. Add to that the fact that he actually has numbers of clinically diagnosed crazy people stalking him, and you’ve got the makings of a package full of enough wool to make mittens, sweaters, scarves, and matching blindfolds for as many people as you have on your gift-giving list.

"To make things more convenient, during the last few years of our relationship I was spending time in L.A., trying to start projects of my own, and was naïve enough not to be especially paranoid, because not only did he and I continue to work together but I, like Tiger Woods’s wife, was under the impression that my flawless Scandinavian supermodel good looks were enough to keep a man at home."

The woman is a true genius. It helps if you can hear her voice saying this when you read it. I don't actually mean hear hear, like one of the women stalking Letterman. I think you know what I mean. You do, don't you? (Right, I think so?)

Here is one of her videos she made with her dogs: